Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge

Format: Kindle ebook
Published: May 10, 2011
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Genre: YA Fantasy, Paranormal

For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do? 

I was initially drawn to this book by its cute, bright pink cover, and title. Then I read the synopsis and it sounded so funny. Can you imagine a vampire stuck in an eternally awkward tween phase, from the wrong side of the tracks, and to make things worse, has a blood allergy? I HAD to have this book!

Caissie St. Onge did not disappoint. The hilarity begins from page one and does not cease. Meet Jane Jones. The Worst. Vampire. Ever. Jane has been battling a series of undead lifetimes of being less than beautiful, unpopular, slightly poor, and part of your average dysfunctional suburban vampire family. You wouldn't think all of those things would be funny, but the author makes you literally laugh out loud. Additionally, Jane has gone from never dating to having two boys interested in her, which throws Jane's repetitive undead life into a complete whirlwind. Both boys are cute, nice, and couldn't be any different...right down to their mortality.

The synopsis paints a picture of a cute vampire story, which this is, but the author also tells us about Jane's past which is coming back to haunt her, and about a possible cure for vampirism that is leading Jane on a series of fortunate and unfortunate events!

Rate: 5/5



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