It is my pleasure to have Jeremy de Quidt on the blog today. Check out his amazing guest post and links to his books below
Halloween Party Guest List.
My
first worry was whether it should be a fancy dress party or ‘come as
you are’? Fancy dress might just be a bit of a problem as the chances of
having one guest come dressed up as another can’t be overlooked. Then
there’s the question of food - vampires/blood, werewolves/raw meat - I
decided in the end to go with pizza. There are a variety of toppings,
it’s easy to heat up, you don’t need cutlery and clearing up won’t be
that much of a problem. But by far the biggest worry for me of the
evening will be getting to the end of it alive.
So, I’ve
gone for a ‘come as you are’, Halloween pizza party. The costumes aren’t
really going to be needed if you think about it.
First
on my guest list is a little old lady with a sack. You find them in the
stories of the Brothers Grimm, usually sitting at the side of a road
through a forest, and they always mean trouble - you never want to
offend one, but you won’t know whether to ask/not to ask what she has in
her sack, or offer to help/not help her carry it. The one thing that is
certain is that they take offence really easily, and when they do the
consequences are usually not worth finding out about, but that sack is a
bonus - it will be very useful when it comes to clearing up the paper
plates and cups at the end.
What seems so obvious a
choice amongst the guest list that it really is a no brainer, are Bram
Stoker’s Dracula and as a couple, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and his
monster. But they aren’t actually that simple for me. Firstly, it’s
Dracula for goodness sake! At some point in the evening he’s going to
sink his teeth into my neck. I won’t even see it coming. One minute
we’ll be chatting over a triangle of pizza and the next everything will
be eldritch mist and the world of the undead. I suppose I could wear a
wreath of garlic, but that’s hardly welcoming and more of an issue for
me is that I’m actually allergic to it (no, really I am - it trebles my
heart rate and makes me throw up.)
Then, Dr Frankenstein
and his monster haven’t been getting on too well of late - it’s not all
high five's and air kisses, and frankly the monster hasn’t been looking
that well. But I suppose that if I’m going to wear the garlic, I need to
have at least one, perhaps two, qualified medical Doctors on hand, so
I’ll be sure to invite Robert Loius Stevenson’s Dr. Jeykll as well. But
even then I’m not so certain that’s a good idea - he’s been drinking a
lot lately and has made a very unpleasant friend who sometimes accepts
invitations on his behalf.
But while I’m making the list,
maybe I should include a very old friend from Russian folk tale, Baba
Yaga. She has the most interesting teeth and would be very good at
eating up any unwanted scraps (or guests) that were left at the end.
And
I make no apologies for my final guest of the moment – he’s of my own
creation. I shall invite Valter, the little coachman from The Toymaker.
After all someone will have to cut up the pizza, and Valter does carry a
knife sharp as any razor.
There will be others, I’m sure
of it. They won’t miss a good party, not on Halloween. And do you know
what? I think they’re going to be the really scary ones. Like nightmares
they’ll come even though they haven’t been invited.
So,
make sure your doors are shut because when they’ve done at my house, I
wouldn’t be one bit surprised if they didn’t come tap tapping at your
windows as well. Just be certain that you don’t let them in.
Happy Halloween
Thank You Jeremy! So many amazing characters and Dracula would be on my guest list aswell!
Thank You Jeremy! So many amazing characters and Dracula would be on my guest list aswell!
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