Guest Post by Liz Rettig: Kelly Ann’s Top Dating Tips: What Not to Do.

Today on the blog we have Kelly Ann, the main character from Liz Rettig's Diary Series books. Kelly Ann is giving us some dating tips on what not to do. Hope You All Enjoy!!

Kelly Ann’s Top Dating Tips: What Not to Do.  

Firstly, I’d just like to say I’m gobsmacked to be asked for advice about dating. I mean, my dating experiences have mostly been embarrassing disasters, usually because of all the totally stupid things I’ve said and done.  But, hey, maybe that’s why you asked me.  To find out what not to do on dates. God, I could write a book about that.  

What Not to Wear:  

  • Custard yellow eye-shadow  
  • Lime green anything 
  • Clothes so tight and revealing you are mistaken for a sex worker and plagued be sleazy kerb crawlers 
  • Purple tights with yellow shoes, a red skirt, and green T-shirt unless you are trying to attract a budgerigar.  
  • Seven inch stilettos that throw your whole body forward and make walking completely impossible. Unless you are going out with a fireman who can carry you around all the time. Mmm, that might be okay actually. 

What Not to Say: 

  • God you’re really hopeless at football aren’t you! Let me show you how to dribble.  
  • That’s a shame you forgot your wallet again but no worries, I’ve got enough for both of us. And no of course I don’t mind all your friends coming too.  
  • I know this is just our first date but I’ve written this love poem for you.  
  • I’ve no idea what’s in this punch but yes I’d like another huge glass thanks.  
  • Of course I’m not dwunk. What gives you that shoopid idea? 

What Not to Do.  

  • Turn up thirty minutes early to make sure you’re not late.  
  • Eat cheese and onion crisps/ garlic nachos/ curry/ or any smelly food really if you intend to snog him.  
  • Hurry out of the toilet without first making sure your skirt isn’t tucked into your knickers at the back. 
  • Reply to the following question with a number. “So how many time do we have to date before it’s okay to shag? 
  • Get caught in the kitchen wearing just your bra and knickers by your boyfriend’s parents. Don’t ask!

 Liz Rettig

Thank you for that fantastic post!! You want to check out Liz and find about more about her see the links above. :) She is an awesome lady.


  1. Haha got a good laugh out of this. And if anyone ever sees me wearing yellow eyrshadow please slap me :P

  2. Try to be yourself, and u will find a partner obligatory!

  3. Thanks for tips! Next time I'll try not to wear yellow eyeshadows and eat onion chips!)))


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